South Park : The Joker trilogy
by the1eenebelgianfan
Summary: While Stan and Wendy get finally in a serious relationship, The Joker accumulates plans to take South Park down... Contains OCs
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 : Love trip in Gotham**

It was Thursday afternoon. Stan was walking on the sidewalk, going to the house of his girlfriend, Wendy. At one moment, he saw Martin talking to Rita and Rick Ambrose. After his discussion, Martin went to Stan.

\- Hey, dude ! What's up ?

\- I'm fine, thanks. Why were you talking to that aggressive girl ?

\- I convinced his brother to play Five Nights At Freddy's, and since, he doesn't want to go in an amusement place ever again. So, I was just apologizing.

\- Oh, I see.

\- And what are you doing ?

\- I'm gonna ask Wendy to go to Gotham City with me this week-end, because for the first time, sales have been applied on planes and hotels.

\- It sounds great ! I hope you will enjoy it. But did your parents able it ?

\- Yes, but they didn't pay the plane yet. They are waiting for Wendy's answer.

But they arrived at Wendy's house, and it ended their conversation.

\- Well, see you tomorrow at school !

\- Bye, Belgian !

Stan rang at the door. Mr Testaburger opened it.

\- Hello, Mr Testaburger. Is Wendy here ?

\- Yes, she's here. You are Stan Marsh, aren't you ?

\- Yes I am.

\- Nice to meet you.

\- Where is she ?

\- She's in her room.

\- Okay. But first, I wanna talk to you.

\- Really ?

\- Yes. For the first time, sales have been applied on planes and hotels. So, I want to go to Gotham City with Wendy this week-end. You don't need to give money to your daughter. I pay everything.

Mr Testaburger reflected for 30 seconds, then said :

\- You can go together. On ONE condition.

\- Which ?

\- You don't take your shower at the same time. You get it ?

\- Yes, sir. I'm going to tell it to Wendy.

Stan went up, and knocked at Wendy's door. She opened it.

\- Hi, sweetie !

\- Wendy, I have something for you.

\- What ?

\- For the first time, sales have been applied on planes and hotels. So… I want to go to Gotham City with you this week-end. Together, alone. What do you think ?

\- This can be awesome ! What do my parents say ?

\- They able it. Mine too. And you don't need to ask them to have some money ; I pay everything.

\- You're a true gentleman, Stan.

Wendy kissed Stan passionately on the lips. Then, she said :

\- Stan… When we were smaller, you threw up on me each time I tried to kiss you. Because you loved me. And this time, you didn't throw up. Does it mean you don't love me anymore ?

\- NO ! I was throwing up just because I was nervous. But everyone changes when they grow up. But the only thing that didn't change in me is that I always love you.

Stan kissed Wendy back.

The next day, at school…

Albert ran to Kenny.

\- Dude ! Dude !

\- What ? – muffled Kenny.

\- Stan and Wendy are going to Gotham City this week-end !

\- Wow ! I'm gonna tell it to the others !

He ran to Kyle.

\- Stan and Wendy are going to Gotham City this week-end !

\- Seriously ?! - asked Kyle.

\- Yeah ! - muffled Kenny.

\- Sounds great ! I'm glad for Stan. What about you, fatass ?

Cartman said :

\- I don't care.

But, he thought :

\- In fact, I care… The Joker lives in Gotham City… With our autoritahs reunited, I can get rid of this fucking couple…

In the evening, in the plane…

\- I can't actually believe it, Stan. A trip in Gotham City, together, and alone. It's a perfect dream.

\- For me too. Oh, and I forgot : your parents say that we can't take the shower together in the same time.

\- But they are not here, we can do whatever we want !

\- I… I guess you're right.

\- But Gotham City is full of bad guys like The Joker, The Penguin, Mr Freeze, Two-Face or even Bane ! What are we going to do ?

\- Don't worry, beauty. Batman is here.

Wendy began to sleep on Stan's shoulder, and he began to sleep on her head. Cartman was some chairs further, disguised as businessman.

Two hours later, Stan and Wendy arrived at Gotham City's Royal Hotel. Stan said :

\- We want a room for two nights, sir.

\- Well… You can go in the room 412. Here's your key.

\- Thanks, sir.

Stan and Wendy went to their room. Cartman, who was watching the scene, ran to a phone cell, and changed into…

\- THE COON !

Then he went to the Arkham Asylum, The Joker's den. He rang at the door.

\- What's it ?

\- I'm a super-villain and I wanna talk with The Joker.

The door opened. Two henchmen arrived.

\- Follow us if you want to talk with the boss.

Five minutes later, The Coon arrived in a room with a throne, with someone on it. He said :

\- So, someone wants to meet the clown prince of crime ?

The person on the throne was The Joker.

\- Greatings, sir. My name is The Coon. I wanna deal with you.

\- Oh, I hope my smile will stay on my face with that deal.

\- There's a couple called...

\- Stan and Wendy ?

\- H... How do you know ?!

\- Besides Gotham City, South Park is my favorite city, Cartman. And... I HATE young couples. I try to kill them, like a couple in another galaxy called Tails and Cosmo. I made hypnose on Cosmo to tell his boyfriend to kill her « to save the world », but there was another way to save it. But for Stan and Wendy, I tried everything : the gluten crisis, the arrival of Ms. Ellen, WikiLeaks... And each time, I failed. Anyway : Where are Stan and Wendy ?

\- They are at the royal hotel, in the room 412.

\- Harley !

\- Yes, puddin' ? – asked Harley Quinn.

\- Prepare my makeup, I'm going to go to the royal hotel.

\- All right, Mister J !

Meanwhile, at the hotel...

\- Stan, what can we do ? It's too late to go out !

\- Maybe we can go swimming at the hotel's pool.

\- But Stan ! I didn't take my bikini !

Stan searched in his bag, and took a bikini he bought especially for Wendy. She was very surprised.

\- Oh, Stan...

She hugged and kissed her long-time vomit-producer Stan, then said :

\- My Life is perfect.

They put on their swimsuits and went to the pool. They played in the water.

\- Catch me, Stan !

\- Not so fast !

\- Look Stan, I'm a mermaid !

\- How beautiful.

« I remember oh so clearly

that you nearly passed me by,

that it happened in Sun Valley

when you tripped and fell and so did I. »

15 minutes later, they got out of the water and went back to their room. But they saw a man fallen on the ground. They dropped him, and saw his scary face ; he was dead, but had a red-lipsticked smile. On his coat, there was a joker card. There was writen « Now you're prevented... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! »

\- You know what does it mean, Wendy ?

\- We must call Batman !

They put back on their clothes, and went downstairs.

\- We found a dead man ! He has been killed by The Joker ! – Stan showed the card.

\- Oh damn ! I call Gordon !

Later, the commisioner Gordon was standing on the roof of Gotham General, with the bat-signal alight. Batman arrived.

\- You called, Jim ?

\- The Joker killed someone in the royal hotel. It's...

Gordon couldn't finish what he was saying ; Batman was gone.

\- Always the fucking same thing...

Later, at the royal hotel...

\- Wendy ! Look !

Batman arrived.

\- Where's the cadaver ?

\- Follow us.

They went upstairs. Batman scanned the cadaver.

\- What are you doing, Batman ? – asked Wendy.

\- I'm scanning The Joker's DNA. With this, I will find him.

He went downstairs to follow DNA. But outside, there wasn't DNA anymore.

\- What is it Now ? Where did The Joker go ?!

\- Maybe he took a chopper.

\- It means I must search all over the city. DAMN !

He took his phone.

\- Alfred, I will be here later. I have some problems to resolve.

\- All right, sir.

He threw his grapnel and went on roofs.

\- At least, we're peaceful, Stan.

\- Yeah. Let's go to bed. What do you think ?

\- Good idea, honey.

They put on pajamas, and went to bed. They hugged each other.

\- I love you, Wendy Marsh.

\- You're so sweet.

They fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Cartman was sleeping in The Arkham Asylum. The Joker said :

\- Oh, isn't that cute ? Little cat's asleeping !

\- I'M NOT A CAT ! RESPECT MY AUTORITAH !

The next day...

Stan and Wendy were walking on the coast. But someone threw a sleeping needle on them. They suddenly fell asleep.

Stan woke up. He was still where he has received a needle, but Wendy was not here anymore. He went in a phone cell and called Kenny.

\- Hey dude ! What's up ?

\- Very bad ! They kidnapped Wendy ! I need help of Mysterion and friends !

\- Shit ! I'll call them immediatly.

\- Splendid. Oh, and don't forget my Toolshed costume.

\- Don't worry for this.

They rang off.

2 hours later, Mysterion and friends arrived and gave the Toolshed costume to Stan. He put in it.

\- So. Where is Wendy ? – asked Mysterion.

\- I think she's in there : Arkham Asylum.

\- Let's go.

6 minutes later, Mysterion said :

\- Each everyone of you will search in a part. Stan, in the manor. Kyle, outside. Clyde, in the botanical gardens. Token, in the intensive treatement. Timmy, in the penitentiary. Good luck, boys !

And they all left.

In the manor, Toolshed (Stan) was searching on all sides, when he felt a stinq in his left arm. He didn't know it was a sting caused by Scarecrow. But when Stan entered into another room, it was dark. Stan wanted to return, but the door disappeared.

\- YOU CANNOT ESCAPE, STAN.

\- Who are you ?

\- I AM YOUR FEAR. AND LOOK BEHIND YOU.

Stan saw his parents dying.

\- DAD !

\- Stan... Poke your grandma one last time for me...

\- MOM !

\- Take care of Wendy... And Shelley...

-THAT'S NOT THE END, STAN. LOOK BEHIND YOU.

Stan saw Wendy kissing Gregory, his long date ennemy.

\- NOOOO !

\- YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT, STAN.

Then, the door came back. Stan opened, but at his surprise, he was not in the manor anymore. He was in a devasted steampunk island. Stan walked, but Scarecrow finally appeared in a giant form.

Stan wanted to call Mysterion for help, but his phone said :

\- The number you are wanting to call doesn't exist. Please ring off.

\- Son of a bitch !

Stan reflected, and understood how to defeat Scarecrow : he must go at the top of the island and incline the bat-signal on Scarecrow. But this bad guy can't see him. Otherwise, Stan dies.

So, after having escaped Scarecrow's view many times, Stan reached the bat-signal and inclined it at Scarecrow.

\- AAAAAAAAARGH !

Scarecrow's death provocated a big white light. When Stan opened his eyes, he was in the Manor again. He was relieved : his parents' death, Wendy kissing Gregory, the steampunk island, giant Scarecrow... All those things were hallucinations.

Suddenly, Stan Heard his phone ringing. It was Mysterion.

\- Allo ?

\- Stan, what happened ? I lost all contact. Are you all right ?

\- Yeah. I was in Scarecrow's world, but now, it's okay.

\- All right. Continue to search Wendy.

Meanwhile, in the intensive treatement, Token saw a camera screen with Wendy, The Coon and The Joker in it.

\- Now, Testabitch, respect our autoritahs !

\- Screw you, Eric.

\- This time, you lost. Even Bats or your sweet jock Stan will not save you…

Token took his phone and called everyone.

\- I found her ! She's in the penitentiary !

\- TOKEN ! I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THE INTENSIVE TREATEMENT !

\- I am, but I found a camera screen on penitentiary. Let's go !

8 minutes later, they arrived in the penitentiary.

\- Free her, obvious clown.

\- Oh, I see you finally arrived. Let's Start round 1 ! Boys ?

A lot of henchmen arrived and fighted Mysterion and friends. But the super-heroes team won.

\- Let's start the round 2 !

Then, The Joker shooted on Cartman. The fatass became taller, more fat... He became a titan. The Joker ran away.

\- RUN ! – said Mysterion.

But Cartman could get him.

\- This time, Mysterion, I will... BREAK YOU !

With his knee, he broke Mysterion's back. The South Park hero fell.

Then, Cartman punched Wendy's cage. She fell. Cartman said :

\- Boo, Wendy Testaburger ! BOOOOO !

He was about to crush her, but Stan threw screws in Cartman's back. Then, Stan hurted his head with a hammer he borrowed to the merciful paladin. Cartman fell.

Wendy said :

\- Thank you, kid. Maybe I know your identity ?

\- Certainly, Wendy.

Stan removed his glasses. Wendy became shocked, then happy.

\- STAN !

She kissed him.

\- Well, well ! – said The Joker. I hope you're ready for round 3 !

But Batman broke the roof and crushed The Joker.

15 minutes later, the cops arrived and took The Joker.

\- Arkham Asylum is not enough... So you will be in Guantanamo !

\- Not... Funny...

\- Tell me, Batman... How did you know we were here ? – asked Kyle.

\- When I was searching Joker in the whole city, I saw your helicopter. I hanged it. I thought it was Joker's, but when I saw the kids inside, I knew it wasn't Joker. But I heard Wendy had been kidnapped, so, with my detective mode, I followed her DNA. I already was on the roof of the penitentiary when you arrived in it. I just waited a good moment to meddle.

Mysterion and friends came back to their helicopter, carrying Mysterion and The Coon, injured.

\- Don't you come with us, Stan ?

\- I have a trip to finish, remember.

\- Oh, sure.

Mysterion and friends left, and Stan and Wendy left back to the hotel. Meanwhile, a shadow, watching Stan and Wendy, said :

\- My puddin' will not stay in Guantanamo forever...

15 minutes later, Stan and Wendy were in their bed. Stan's phone rang.

« Facebook : Kyle Broflovski mentionned you in a publication. »

He opened Facebook, and saw a picture of Wendy kissing him, as Toolshed, with Kyle's description : « It's a lovely couple, isn't it ? » Wendy watched it, then hugged Stan.

\- You're my hero.

And they fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 : Gregory's return**

\- My turn ! My turn ! – said Wendy.

\- What do you want to know ? – asked Bebe.

\- I want to know if I'm gonna marry Stan later.

\- Let's find out. Pick a number.

\- Five.

\- One, two, three, four, five. Now, pick a color.

\- Purple.

\- P-U-R-P-L-E. Pick another color.

\- Orange.

\- Will you marry Stan later ? – she opens interior flap – Well, yes !

\- D'awww ! So sweet !

Then, she took a look at Stan, playing football with his friends. She smiled and blushed.

Meanwhile, in Guantanamo, some crinimals were reading and singing :

« Jingle bells

Jingle bells

Jingle All The ways

Oh What fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh, hey ! »

The Joker was reading a letter from Harley Quinn instead of the song :

« Dear Puddin,when the guards were not watching, I replaced the christmas tree by a rocket. With this, you can escape,

Your pretty Harley. »

So The Joker began to sing :

« Jingle bells

Batman smells

Robin laid an egg

The batmobile lost a wheel

And The Joker got-a-waaaaaay ! »

He went on the fake Christmas tree, actually a rocket, who began to fly. The Joker continued singing :

« Crashing through the roofs

In a one-horse open tree

Busting out I go

Laughing all the WEEEEEEHahahahahaha ! »

Meanwhile, in school, Stan was talking with the boys.

\- Dude, after the last episode I saw, I'm sure Dipper Pines is in the crap.

\- Stan, Dipper Pines is the best ! How can you insult him ? – asked Kyle.

\- Hey Stan !

\- Hey Wendy.

\- Sorry for having interrupted you, honey.

\- Nah, it's ok. Our relationship is more important than Gravity Falls.

\- Thank you. Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you want to be my partner for tonight's dance.

Stan kissed Wendy.

\- How can I refuse ? You're a present given to me by god.

\- So lame. – said Cartman.

\- GODDAMIT SHUT UP FATASS ! – screamed Wendy.

\- Yeah, you say this because you don't understand love. – said Stan.

\- You're wrong. I got two girlfriends.

\- What the fuck, dude ?!

\- Seriousleh. They are Liza and Chloe.

\- Chloe ? The girl who hates me ? – asked Wendy.

\- Yeah. But I don't know with which one will I go yet.

\- You know what ? Ask Dr Mephisto to create a clone of yourself.

\- That's a good idea, jew.

Meanwhile, Gregory of Yardale was in his room, thinking of a revenge. He always wanted to be Wendy's boyfriend, but Wendy insulted him after the war between USA and Canada.

Someone knocked at his door. He opened it. It was The Joker. Gregory, shocked, ran at the phone to call the police.

\- Don't even think about it, Greg.

\- What do you want ?

\- To help you for a revenge !

\- Do you have a plan ?

\- Yeah. Tonight, there's a dance at school.

\- I don't go to school anymore. I told them I'll move in another country, but in fact, I'm preparing a plan.

\- That's why you can't find a plan. You're not enough clever. But what was your last plan ?

\- I... I wanted to build a mecha-Stan, but...

\- I think he's good enough for a kidnapping.

Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle, and Martin were playing Call Of Duty Black Ops 3. Then, Stan asked :

\- Who will be your partners ?

\- I will go with Jenny. But you probably knew this. And I thank you so much for that. If your tips for seducing weren't so good, I would not be with her. – said Martin.

\- And you Kyle ?

\- I will go with Bebe.

\- Seriously ?!

\- Yep. She's so beautiful !

\- But... Do you remember when we builded a clubhouse to play truth or dare with Wendy and her ?

\- Dude, it's the past, and I was not interested by girls. Now I changed.

\- And she said yes ?

\- Yes. And I think she has a crush on me too.

\- Guys, don't you think it's time to get ready for tonight ?

\- Oh yeah, I didn't see the time. Okay, see ya tonight ! – said Martin.

\- See ya ! – said Kyle to Stan and Martin.

In the evening...

Stan was waiting in front of the school. He was wearing a grey coat and a black pants. He wasn't wearing his hoodie, because before leaving the school, Mr Mackey shouted from his office :

\- NO HATS ARE ALLOWED TONIGHT, M'KAY ! WE SAW YOUR HOODIES TOO MUCH AND WANT TO SEE YOUR HAIR, M'KAY !

Wendy arrived. She was wearing a pink dress, and white pearl earrings. Stan blushed, and had an erection. But fortunately, Wendy didn't see it.

\- I'm in heaven.

\- Oh, Stan. You're handsome too.

They entered, and began to dance on « Writings on the wall » by Sam Smith. Stan said :

\- Actually, this is better than « Ya ya ya ».

\- Yeah.

Stan took a look left, and saw Kyle and Bebe kissing. He said :

\- Wendy, look !

\- Wow ! Since how long are they together ?

\- Today : Kyle has a crush on her. And he thinks she has a crush on him.

\- That's right. Bebe told me she had a crush on him.

\- Hehe. It's the beginning of a long relationship.

Then, a robot broke the window. It looked like Stan, but with a grey skin and orange eyes.

\- TARGET ACQUIRED. – said Mecha-Stan.

\- What the heck, dude ?!

The robot threw rockets on Stan. Stan fell. Mecha-Stan went to him. Shelley, Stan's sister shouted :

\- DON'T TOUCH MY BROTHER YOU TURD !

Mecha-Stan used eyebeam lasers on her. Fortunately, she dodged it. The robot took Wendy and flew away.

\- Bastard... That's my girlfriend... – said Stan.

Later, Mecha-Stan arrived with Wendy at U-stor-it. He said :

\- I GOT HER, MASTER YARDALE.

\- Yardale ? – asked Wendy. – Oh shit...

\- Yes, it's really me. Wendy, you're prettier than I remember.

Gregory got out of the shadow.

\- I'm always with Stan, you dick.

\- It's not a problem. Mecha-Stan, you killed him, isn't it ?

\- YES MASTER.

But Stan, as Toolshed, landed on Mecha-Stan. He unscrewed the robotic head, and cut all the wires in it. The robot exploded.

\- No ! My robot !

\- Stan... Always here when you have to.

\- Stan is a super-hero and always protects Wendy... It doesn't make me want to live anymore.

Gregory pointed a gun at himself, and suicided.

\- God bless that dick.

But it wasn't a revolver : it was a titan gun. So Gregory became a titan, like Cartman/The Coon in the Arkham Asylum.

\- Prepare to fear my anger !

Wendy ran, and changed into his new super-hero identity : Call Girl. Toolshed and her began to fight.

5 minutes later, Gregory fell. And Stan asked :

\- Why did you reappear only now ?!

\- The Joker helped me...

\- The Joker ? WHERE IS HE ?!

\- He's...

Then, The Joker shooted on Gregory ; he died.

\- That's what I do to people who talk too much. Farewell, friends ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

The Joker was on his chopper and left.

\- Don't worry, Stan. We will catch him another time.

The next day...

Mysterion and friends were in Cartman's cave.

\- We're here for the joining of a new member : Call Girl ! – announced Mysterion.

\- I would like to thank Mysterion for having let me join, and Toolshed for having inspired me.

She kissed Toolshed, and everyone said :

\- Awwwwww !


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 : Ding dong, the clown is dead**

It was friday afternoon, two days before an exhibition soccer game between South Park Cows and Inazuma Japan. When the game has been announced, the trainer, Randy Marsh, announced the players : Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Clyde, Tweek, Craig, Token, Butters, Martin, Ders, Elvin, Noel, Jarvis, Bradley, Jason, Kevin, and Scott. For the cheerleaders, all the girls have been called to reprise their cheerleading roles, except Lisa Berger. She has been fired from school after the Photoshop accident. Jenny, Martin's girlfriend, replaced her. The boys trained, then, the cheerleaders trained.

« Yeah, yeah, do we rock ?

Yeah, yeah, take it to the top !

Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop ?

No way ! No way ! »

Randy shouted :

\- U-S-A ! U-S- oh... Sorry. Try again.

« Yeah, yeah, do we rock ?

Yeah, yeah, take it to the top !

Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop ?

No way ! No way ! »

\- Cheer squad roll call ! – said Wendy.

\- Heidi !

\- Nichole !

\- Bebe !

\- Lola !

\- Red !

\- Annie !

\- Mia !

\- Allie !

\- Jenny !

\- And I'm your captain, Wendy !

After the training...

\- Hey honey !

\- Hey, Wendy. – said Stan.

\- Your father is stupid. Don't you agree ?

\- Yep, I agree. He's the most stupid man in the world. And...

\- What ?

\- You're sexy as a cheerleader.

\- Thanks Stan.

The next day, in the cave of the Iceberg lounge, a nightclub in Gotham City, there were a lot of criminals : Scarecrow, Harley Quinn, Killer Croc, Bane, The Penguin, The Riddler, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman.

\- Guys, what are you doing here ? – asked Two-Face.

\- Your superior invited you all here.

The Joker got out of the shadow.

\- Puddin' !

\- We are not your superior, fucking clown !

\- Keep your sarcams for later, Cobblepot.

\- Riddle me this : why are we here ?

\- There's the answer, Nigma !

The Joker explained everything. A few minutes later...

\- Now, boys, there's the plan : Croc ol' boy, you will break the field from your sewer. Then, Poison Ivy will block all exit accesses with her plants. Then, I will appear at TV and say I put a bomb in the school. The others will simply rob the money of the supporters. Any questions ? Yes, Harley ?

\- When are we going to marry, puddin' ?

\- (very long sigh) Harley, not now...

The next day...

The South Park Cows were waiting in front of the bus stop of the school. They were waiting for the arrival of their rivales : Inazuma Japan. The bus arrived. Endou Mamoru, the captain, got out first.

\- I believe you're the cows. Who's your captain ?

\- Me. I'm Stan Marsh.

\- I'm Endou Mamoru.

\- Follow us for the game.

The girls were already cheerleading.

« Yeah, yeah, do we rock ?

Yeah, yeah, take it to the top !

Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop ?

No way ! No way ! »

\- Cheer squad roll call ! – said Wendy.

\- Heidi !

\- Nichole !

\- Bebe !

\- Lola !

\- Red !

\- Annie !

\- Mia !

\- Allie !

\- Jenny !

\- And I'm your captain, Wendy !

The supporters cheered, and all the players appeared. This was the composition :

Goalkeeper : Jarvis.

Defenders : Token, Cartman, Craig, Tweek.

Middle : Clyde, Kyle, Ders, Martin, Elvin.

Forward : Stan.

On the bench : Kenny, Butters, Noel, Bradley, Jason, Kevin, Scott.

The match began.

At the 34th minute, Gouenji Shuuya scored with his Fire Tornado.

\- Goal from Inazuma Japan, n°10, Gouenji Shuuya. – said the announcer, Howell Kao.

At the 45th minute, before half-time, Kyle said to Ike, disguised as a soccer ball :

\- Ready, Ike ? Kick the baby !

\- Don't kick the freaking baby...

Kyle kicked him to the goal. Endou, thinking this is the real ball, said :

\- Too easy.

He catched Ike. Then, Kyle kicked the real ball. He scored.

\- What ?! – shouted Endou.

Kyle made a heart with his fingers for Bebe, his new girlfriend, then danced the Batusi. Adam West, in the supporters said :

\- I remember... I always danced like this in the 60's.

\- GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL ! From South Park Cows, n°6, KYLE...

\- BROFLOVSKI ! – shouted the public.

\- He's so cute... – thought Bebe.

At the 50th minute, Kenny replaced Clyde.

At the 57th minute, Kenny was about to pass the ball to Stan, when Killer Croc got out, broke the field, and eated Kenny.

\- Oh my God ! They killed Kenny !

\- You bastards !

Then, The Joker appeared on the screen.

\- Hello, people of South Park ! It's me ! The clown prince of crime ! And I want to say : I put a bomb in the school, and it will explode in 30 minutes ! Except if someone stops me... But I don't think so, because Poison Ivy blocked all exits ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA ! Then, Poison Ivy used her plants to block the exits. Everyone were scared. Jimbo wanted to run, but the Riddler told him :

\- Riddle me this : What is green, in paper, and always in your wallet ?

\- My money ?

\- No, now it's mine !

Mr Mackey wanted to run too, but The Penguin said :

\- You're going nowhere !

\- M'kay...

The Broflovski were calling Kyle, but Catwoman went to Sheila, and said :

\- You got beautiful earrings, woman...

Randy said :

\- Let me out, douchebag !

Two-Face said :

\- Heads, I take you in hostage. Tails, I kill you.

He threw a penny in the air. It was on heads.

\- I take you in hostage.

On the field...

\- Dude, how are we going to escape ? – asked Kyle.

\- I think this time, we...

Stan couldn't finish what he was saying : Batman arrived with the Batmobile and broke Poison Ivy's plants.

\- Get in the Batmobile ! Quickly !

Batman shooted on all the villains : Killer Croc, The Penguin, The Riddler, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman. Batman got out of the Batmobile and strangled the Penguin.

\- WHERE'S THE JOKER ?!

\- I won't talk !

\- ANSWER, OR I'LL BREAK ALL YOUR LITTLE ANIMAL BONES !

\- In the reunion room of the school !

Kenny arrived.

\- Hey Kenny !

\- (Goddamit. They forgot I died.) Let's go to the closer !

They (included Wendy) put costumes to be Mysterion and friends.

\- WAIT ! – said Elvin.

The Ubermen arrived.

\- We want to fight The Joker.

\- Well, why not ? – said Mysterion.

\- I want to join too. – said Silhouetto.

\- Okay. You will be my Spanish clone. Hehe...

\- I want to join too ! – said The Coon.

\- Me too ! – said Professor Chaos.

Mysterion catched The Coon.

\- Do you REALLY think we'll let you join us after what you did to us ?!

\- Mysterion I'm sorry, and after what The Joker did to me, I really want to kill him...

\- Mmmh... Okay. BUT you listen to Batman. Right ?

\- Yeah, right.

\- Follow me, kids. – said the dark knight.

They went in the school, but unfortunately, they met Bane.

\- I'LL CRUSH EVERYONE HERE !

The Joker, by radio, said :

\- You can do whatever you want to them, but YOU BRING ME BATSY ALIVE. I'll kill him myself !

Bane ran to Batman, but the caped crusader threw a batarang on him and jumped on his back.

\- I need three guys to remove the venom tubs !

Mysterion, Jarvis and The Coon jumped, and with Batman, they removed the tubs.

Bane fell.

The Joker, by radio, said :

\- Hey, Bats ! You're forming the young super heroes very well ! But listen : I got Howell Kao and Endou Mamoru in hostage. You choose, Batsy : What is more important for you ? Save a building or two kids ? Hahahahahaha !

Batman asked :

\- Does anyone know where the reunion room is ?

\- Me ! It's on the first floor ! – said The Coon.

\- Great ! Wait a minute... Are you Bruce Villanch ?

\- NAH !

\- Okay, I thought you... Kof kof !

They all said « kof kof » because they smelt a gaze : it was Scarecrow's.

So, they went upstairs. But saw The Joker singing classic music. Then, they saw a puppet of Howell Kao with a bomb. The puppet (with Joker's voice) said :

\- Help me ! HELP ME ! I'm prisonner and I got no time !

Then, a puppet of Batman appeared and said :

\- Don't worry, Howell, I'm coming !

But the fake bomb exploded. A off-voice Joker said :

\- Owww... It got to hurt !

Then a lot of Jokers appeared behind the super heroes and laughed. A puppet of Mr Mackey appeared and said :

\- Your need to save people is so powerful, Batman, that –hehe– the least fail can make you mad, m'kay.

A coucou got out of the Batman puppet and said « coo-coo » twice. All The Jokers laughed again. Martin shouted :

\- WTF IS HAPPENING ?!

Then, giant Scarecrow's hand crushed all The Jokers. He said :

\- There you are, little bugs !

Then, some people got out of the ground : it was their friends, Vic, Albert, Chloe, Rodel, Cony, Samantha, Burger, and Rita, as Nazi Zombies. They all said :

\- Sieg heil !

The super heroes defeated them, but a bigger form got out. Chef.

\- I'm gonna make love to you woman !

Chef ran to them, but Batman threw a batarang on his eyes. So, he hurted the wall. Martin went to him and said :

\- Fuck the gentlemanly code !

He farted on his balls. They all came back to reality. They ran the reunion room and entered. The Joker asked :

\- So bats, what did you decide ? I kill the two boys or I explode the building ?

\- Kill them.

\- Very well.

The Joker pointed his revolver on Endou Mamoru, but Batman threw a batarang on it. Batman freed the boys, but The Joker took the detonator. The school exploded. The Joker hanged Harley Quinn and said :

\- So long, batsy !

The wall fell on both. Another wall was about to fall on the super heroes. But someone took them, brang them outside and saved them : Superman. They were all happy, except Batman. He never liked Superman that much. While Superman is positive and happy, Batman is realist and cynic.

\- Thanks, Superman. Can you extinct the fire ?

\- Certainly !

He used his cold breath to extinct the fire. But the school was destroyed.

\- Oh, it doesn't matter. They will reconstruct it. Gotta go, there's an volcano in eruption in Mexico. Call me if you need me !

He left. Cartman said :

\- Screw you guys, I'm going home !

Stan said :

\- Well, we can't go to school during a long time. Hey, but... Do you know what does it mean, Wendy ?

\- Yeah ! I'm going to pass some time with you !

\- Let's go to my house !

The young couple left. Kyle said :

\- Well, I'm gonna do the same thing with Bebe !

\- And me, with Jenny ! – said Martin.

\- And me, with Elvin ! – said Mia.

They all left, except Batman. He was sad, because The Joker was dead. Of course, the caped crusader always wanted to kill the clown prince of crime, but he thought that without that clown, justice has no punchline.

\- Well, at least, it's one problem wasted...

Stan and Wendy were watching Channel 9 news. Tom Thompson was saying :

\- Today, something happened in South Park, Colorado : The Joker, famous criminal, destroyed the elementary school. We immediatly meet Clark Kent, journalist specialist in crime.

\- Tom, I am in front of the school destroyed by The Joker. He died with his « girlfriend » Harley Quinn, formely known as the doctor Harleen Quinzel, in the explosion. Batman and a team called « Mysterion and Friends » were also in the explosion, but Superman saved them. Batman said that Bane and Scarecrow were also in the explosion. The deminors found the corpses of The Joker, Harley Quinn, and Bane, but didn't find Scarecrow. But they-

Stan put the TV off. Wendy asked :

\- What can we do, honey ?

\- Maybe we can watch the entire « Ice Age » saga. Did you watch them ?

\- Only the first one.

Stan put the Dvd of the first « Ice Age ». Outside, Batman was watching them.

\- The boy has a good potential, maybe he can become a new Robin... Bruce, what are you saying ?! You already have a Robin !

He called the Batmobile and left back to Gotham City.

THE END


End file.
